lately

we are one week past Nugget's due date and counting. if you've texted me for an update, my likely response has been #stillpregnant. while some days are much more difficult than others, there are a lot of things I am thankful for about being 41 weeks pregnant...

1. my mom is now in town **insert all the leg kicks here**
2. extra time to get some online class work done
3. extra time to clean and get (even more) organized
4. an extra ultrasound & a perceptive doctor
5. getting an appointment with a pediatric urologist for a small concern with one kidney
6. being forced to really trust the Lord's timing/plan
7. extra time to pray over Nugget
8. sweet community who has loved on & prayed for us this past week
9. the Lord's patience with my roller-coaster feelings
10. the sweetest man to do this all alongside

here's to **trying** to focus on this list rather than the discomfort and longing to meet this little one. sweet Nugget, we are so ready to meet you!

dear due date

dear due date,

well, you were monday... as in 3 days ago. since seeing those two pink lines on may 1st, we've been counting down the days until you with the hope expectation that you would be the day we met little Nugget. however, that has (obviously) not been the case. on monday, I was pissed at you, and it took me longer than I'd care to admit to process through bitterness at not having met this little life. it's now thursday, and I'm feeling all the feels: thankful we made it this far after early scares, frustrated you didn't bring what you promised, discomfort & physical pain because 40+ weeks with an 8 pounder, and excitement that any day could be the day. while I sort of prepared myself for Nugget to arrive late, my actual expectation was that you would be the last possible day I would meet him/her. with each contraction that passes **because I've had them for the past month**, I become more cynical and frustrated with myself for ever having that expectation.

if I'm honest, my bitterness towards you comes and goes. I'm semi-grateful for the way you have made me look forward to labor starting, for being able to knock out some online class assignments, and for a few good walks each day since you've passed. but let's be honest, I'd rather you have brought about Nugget than these other things.

for the past few mornings I've had to remind myself of psalm 139:16... 

"Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me,

when as yet there was not one of them."

that last phrase, "when as yet there was not one of them," gets me every time. with each day that passes I'm reminded of God's perfect plan for Nugget's life, even if that means I don't get to meet him/her quite yet. this truth is good and hard at the same time. my patience is tested each morning I wake up and labor hasn't even begun to say hi. however, God is good, even in this season of waiting for this little one to arrive; even through the discomfort; even if Nugget stays put for the long-haul until being induced on the 19th. **yes, as in one week from today. woof** 

sincerely,

over you.

waiting {nugget edition}

taken at 32 weeks... there's no way I'm getting into a dress & heals now.

well, we are three days away from our due date, january 9. this wednesday the doctor told me that Nugget is definitely going to be taking his/her sweet time and began discussing the "what if's" of inducing. woof. this season of waiting is unlike any other time, yet so similar to other times of waiting. actually, love the past few days I've been reminded of another waiting period as I try to put into words the feelings of this one...

two years ago today, Michael proposed to me, but the days leading up to that proposal were full of mind tricks, anticipation, and, honestly, frustration. I was so annoyed when things didn't happen when I though they would, but when he proposed, it was as if the Lord just said, "I told you I had this." one thing of which I am convinced: God's timing is always better than my own.

this waiting for Nugget's arrival is a little different than Michael's proposal because we will definitely meet Nugget in the next week and a half... but it could also happen at any time. honestly, I would much rather this happen sooner rather than later for multiple reasons: 1. I'm so over being pregnant; 2. I can't wait to see this little one's face and get to know his/her personality; and 3. I would like to avoid all the medical interventions that would likely have to happen if we were induced. however, I know that God's timing is way more perfect than my own. God knows this little life inside of me; He has been knitting Nugget together inside of me for the past 9 months. He has planned out each and every one of Nugget's days already... "when as yet there was not one of them." **see Psalm 139** trusting the Lord's timing has never been a strength of mine; however, I am thankful that God has given me His Holy Spirit, who is building this trust inside of me. that's the beauty behind the waiting: I'm not in this alone. the Lord is with me every step of the way, helping me to take each step in trusting His perfect plan. 

hopefully I will have news in the next week about our first time meeting Nugget, but until then, see ya, loves!

one year later {mk edition}

last year, I started a journey with mary kay. I'm not a salesperson by nature, so I mainly just sell to myself, my gran, and my mother in law **thanks, ladies** I started because within a week of just using one of my favorite products **see #4 below**, I could tell an immediate difference in my skin. I dove in, & after a year of using a bunch of different mary kay products, I decided why not share what I've learned here?! I'm not sharing so that you'll buy from me or anything, but because skin care & skin issues can be super frustrating **trust this girl who knows the struggle of adult acne** and why not help a sister (or brother) out by reviewing some of the products I actually use. so, here are my absolute favs of some of the products I've used (and a few that just didn't cut it):

1. clearproof acne treatment gel. (aka: my secret acne ninja) this stuff is miraculous. it's a spot treatment, so it's not a put all over your face kind of product. this little miracle worker literally kicks acne's a$$... I can have a blemish arise in the morning, put this stuff on it, and it will be gone by noon. the tougher blemishes? gone within a day or two. without this stuff, I would have blemishes that stuck around for days or even a week! this product definitely gets two thumbs up!!! however, it is a bit drying, so it definitely needs to be followed by a good moisturizer. 

2. satin hands. this system is a pregnancy must-have for me. in fact, my friends who get pregnant will receive the fragrance-free version from me because it is simply amazing. I use it when I have dry hands, when I need a manicure, when I need a pedicure **yes, you can use it on things other than your hands**, when I just need some extra pampering, etc. my favorite is to use it as an at-home pedicure followed with #3 below or on my growing stomach followed up with Vaseline Intensive Moisture Lotion **I'm not for certain, but I do think this has been a huge help in me not getting any stretch marks on my stomach so far**

3. mint bliss energizing lotion for feet. alright, let's be serious, mint plus moisturizing foot lotion plus comfy socks? I mean, it doesn't get much better than this for at-home pampering. this product is a little more oily than the hand creme included in satin hands, so I wouldn't recommend it for other body parts; however, it's perfect for softening the rough spots on your feet! this is definitely another pregnancy must-have for me as well as a summer must-have because it's cheaper in the long run than getting a bunch of pedicures **you're welcome, Michael**

4. timewise matte-wear foundation. ok, because of my adult-acne issues, I've never been a fan of any foundation for longer than maybe a month or two. I always had issues with not enough coverage or great coverage that caused breakouts. this product is a liquid foundation, and it was the first MK product I bought. I instantly loved it, but then, after a week of using it every day, I noticed my skin was actually softer than before I used it. honestly, this product convinced me that investing in the skin care side of MK was worth it! over the past year, I also experimented with other MK foundations: cc cream and mineral powder. neither one of those is my favorite for my skin-type (normal to oily): the cc cream was too oily and the mineral powder was not enough coverage. I did, however, experiment this summer and found that using concealer with mineral powder foundation over it wasn't a bad option. BUT, honestly, I went back to using this liquid matte-wear foundation, and it really just is my favorite. you don't have to use a whole lot for a good amount of coverage. it's build-able, and it doesn't make me breakout after wearing it all day. win, win, win!!

5. foundation primer. primers and I have had a love-hate relationship. before MK, I had a primer that I liked simply because it made my face look really great for special occasions; however, the next day my face would break out major because it clogged up my pores **worst** so, when I was told to try out this foundation primer, I was skeptical that it would do the exact same. I use this product every day I wear makeup! it helps my makeup go on evenly, makes you not have to use as much foundation for a good amount of coverage, helps your makeup stay-put all day, and it doesn't make me break out!!! bonus: it even has a little spf to protect your skin throughout the day.

after this year, I've learned a lot about skincare, and, honestly, I can tell a huge difference in the appearance of my skin. blemishes heal faster. I have fewer acne scars. my skin looks smoother. the tone of my skin is more even. these products worked for me, which is kind of really exciting because I pretty much tried everything else before! there are a couple of products that I am going to be putting to the test over the next 6 months, so be sure to keep watching for those updates! if you have any questions or just want to talk skincare, don't hesitate to reach out! I know the struggles and would love to share more of my journey with you!

the year of change {2017}

2016 was a fun & challenging year. two trial competitions, getting appointed vice chairwoman of the trial advocacy board, finding out we are pregnant, Michael getting promoted and then working overnights for over 6 months, summer classes during the first trimester, rearranging our apartment a million times to make room for Nugget, reading all the baby books, a crazy fall semester, too many hospital trips,  and finishing off with our first holiday with family since getting married. we packed a ton into this past year, and I'm so thankful for all the craziness!

it's also a little hard to imagine how we could pack more into one year than we did this past year, but 2017 promises to be a big big year for this haefner family. there are a lot of knowns and a lot of unknowns as we begin this crazy adventure of a year. focusing on the unknowns can be a little overwhelming, but we are confident that nothing in this upcoming year is a surprise to the Lord. so, instead of focusing on the unknowns, I decided to make a list **typical, I know** of 10 things I'm looking forward to in 2017:

1. meeting & getting to know Nugget **hopefully very soon**
2. graduating law school
3. getting back into running & yoga
4. may's cross-country move to texas
5. living WAY closer to family **insert all the shimmies & fist pumps here**
6. wearing normal (non-maternity) clothes
7. seeing Michael as a dad
8. being done with the bar exam
9. adventuring as a family of three
10. non-retail hours for Michael

2017, we ready. cheers.

goals, goals, goals

so I've been waiting to share this list of goals because of our fun, exciting, sweet announcement we made in july.... and then I forgot to actually post this. oops. gonna go ahead and blame that on pregnancy brain. for those who don't know **or maybe just don't remember** I began making a goals-list for each birth year when a roommate once asked me what my goals were before I turned 25. fast forward a few years later, and the tradition is going strong! there are always things that go unaccomplished because life is a funny, unpredictable thing; however, it's always fun to start a year with something to focus on and chase after! here's my list for 27:

1. workout 3-4 times per week. while this might seem like a small goal to some, with the complete lack of time I had this last year, I need a realistic goal in this area to keep me going and healthy in the midst of a very full schedule.

2. put together a nursery-nook. gender-neutral **because we aren't finding out what it is until nugget arrives**. one-bedroom apartment. law books for dayz. big dreams. a love/hate relationship with pinterest. this is what I'm working with, peoples.

3. intentional dates. set aside time for one intentional date per week. no phones. no agendas. just sweet time together.

4. read 5 non-school related books. I loved this goal so much last year, I think I'll do it again.

5. put together 2 photo-books. one from our wedding, and one for our first year together. **ok, yes, I'm a little behind**

6. write consistently on the memory calendar. this was one of the best wedding gifts we received: a calendar that has the day on it plus a bunch of empty spaces for you to fill in the year & a small, fun memory from that day. 

some other big things that will happen **Lord willingly** before 28: graduate from law school, become a mama, & figuring out our next big move. tons of big changes. look out, 27, you're gonna be a big one!

what are you having?!

"what are you having?!?" it's the inevitable question I get from everyone who sees the bump, which gets more and more obvious by the day. it's quite amazing the wide variety of reactions I get when I tell people, "we will find out when Nugget arrives!" equally amazing is my ability not to quickly reply, "we're hoping it's a human, but who knows," in an incredibly sarcastic tone. people's immediate reaction seems to be some form of why, ranging from amazement to shock & horror. so, here are some answers to a few of your questions...

1. ally's family. I am the oldest of four kids. my parents only found out the gender with me (because they lived overseas back in the day). growing up, I loved the surprise and fun of not knowing whether I was going to have a little brother or a little sister come due date. I absolutely loved going to the hospital and finding out who we were bringing home! not finding out the gender of our first little takes me back to the excitement of those days!

2. I love surprises. yes, it's true: this type A-ish personality really does love surprises. I love planning surprises for other people, and I love being surprised. some might say (and have), "there are plenty of surprises coming your way, so you should just find out." this new, crazy adventure of parenthood is a complete mystery to us. I don't know what the future looks like at all, but I love getting to imagine different scenarios with a little son or a little daughter. the fact that there is a promise of more surprises along the way doesn't make me want to avoid this pretty amazing one!

3. the massive bows. I am not a massive bow person. it has been the style for little girls to wear massive bow headbands, many of which are bigger than the baby's head. everything in me wants to rescue the little girl from those things. the other thing that's just not my style: tutus. if we do end up having a daughter and she wants all the massive bows and tutus, I'm sure we will end up getting them for her. however, I know that if we were to find out ahead of time, that's all we would get a baby showers. people, we have a registry for a reason.

4. according to Michael, I'm anti-bandwagon. the fact that everyone else is doing something often makes me do the opposite. I like being different and, sometimes, I like that it drives other people crazy. so your reaction telling me I'm crazy or urging me to find out?? in a weird way, you are just re-affirming my position that it was a great decision to wait for the super fun surprise!

5. we are so excited either way! michael and I are just super excited to be welcoming this little life into the world, no matter what the gender. we don't have our hearts set either way where we would need time to prepare if it wasn't "what we wanted." we have names picked out for both genders, and we are so excited to meet Nugget when he/she arrives!!

6. we're still bonding with Nugget. the argument that people feel closer to their babies when they can call them by name is a total waste for me. maybe that's because this is our first, so it's all I know, BUT I pray for Nugget, talk to Nugget, dream about Nugget, etc. just like I would if I knew the gender and could do the same by a specific name we have chosen. calling this littles Nugget doesn't make him/her seem less like a real life to me because he/she is very much alive (and super active) and well inside me. next please.

7. yes, I'm still normal. not a day goes by that I don't "guess" what gender is growing inside of me. sometimes, if I'm feeling really crazy, I do all the old wives tales to see what those say **stay tuned for another fun post about these** but rather than driving me crazy, I actually find the not knowing part fun! **ok, so maybe that's not so normal...**

so there you have it, peoples. the reasons behind our decision to wait until Nugget arrives before finding out his/her gender. we think it's fun **even if it does drive you crazy**